2011-07-03 - The Unknown Citizen

My first memory is of waking up in the middle of a sidewalk without any idea about how I got there. I don’t remember anything about my life before that sidewalk. I started walking as if I was meant to. I started drinking the coffee I had in my hand even though I don’t remember buying it or even picking it up. I walked up to someone and they started talking to me as if we were long time friends. I don’t remember ever seeing him before but felt compelled to continue the conversation. Someone ran between the two of us, stopping the conversation and spilling my coffee. I looked after him for a few seconds before I began walking again. I didn’t even feel the slightest bit of remorse for the loss of my coffee or the conversation. I just walked away from them. After a few short blocks the world started to fade. Blackness filled my vision and I fell asleep.

Soon I awoke again. I was walking down a different street in a completely different part of town now. A man ran up to me and punched me in the face. It was the same man who ran into me the other day. I got up and tried to run away but he pulled out a gun and shot me in the leg. I fell to the ground helpless. He shot me a few more times before running off. I lay there in a pool of blood unable to move. I could hear the distant sounds of gunfire and sirens. Although I could see the firefight right in front of me it seemed miles away. The man who shot me was now in a shootout with the cops. He seemed to take dozens of hits but didn’t fall; he just kept running and shooting. An ambulance came and paramedics tried to save me but before they can finish my world fades again and I go back to sleep.

Soon I awoke for the third time. I was now in a strange part of town with no knowledge of how I got there. I didn’t appear to have any injuries and there were no bullet wounds to commemorate the previous day. I was driving my car down a street. I knew it was my car but I didn’t remember buying it or ever driving it before. In my rear-view mirror I could see a reckless driver coming up behind me. He was crashing into other cars, crashing into the walls, crashing into street lights and road signs. His car was missing the hood and it looked like there were bullet holes in the side. I tried to swerve out of his way but he ran into the side of my car. I looked over at him only to realize that this was the man who had shot me. Why is he here? I tried to think but as he faded into the distance so did the world around me. As he disappeared over the horizon I fall asleep again.

I awoke for the fourth time after what seemed like forever. Again I was driving but it was a different car in a different part of town. What happened to my old car? Before I could think too heavily on the subject I was violently pulled from my car. It was that man again, he was stealing my car. I stood up and watched him as he did a 180 in my car and started ramming an upside down car a few metres away. He seemed to be trying to flip it over. Why does this man keep appearing in my life? Why do I seem to be jumping from place to place with no memory of anything between them? Do I only exist when he is near me? Why does he keep hurting me? I can only stare at him as he gets out of my now damaged car and gets into the one he just flipped over. As he drove away I wonder what will happen the next time I see him. My world fades to black, I fall asleep again.

Today I awoke to blackness. The word uninstall seemed to hang in the air though I couldn’t hear or see it. I write this story down in a notepad in the hopes that someday someone will find it. I know that soon I will fall asleep for the last time.

- The Unknown Citizen, Liberty City, GTA