2012-01-16 - Internet Security

Last term I had a course in computer security and I learned a lot of things from that course. So I figured with my new found knowledge I should try to help people by giving out tips on how to stay safe online. Before we start though I want to make it clear that I am not licensed in any way as a security or internet specialist and if this list doesn’t help you then it’s not my fault. Please enjoy.

1. Don’t open suspicious looking email attachments, they’re viruses.
2. Don’t go to bogus looking sites. If it looks suspect it probably is and you should avoid it.
3. Even if they don’t look bogus you should probably stay away from sites that you don’t know. I’m sure that someone is smart enough to not use www.thisisnotavirus.net.
4. Actually even if you recognize the site you should stay away from it. How much do you really know about that site? Have you personally met the webmaster? Can you ever be totally sure he hasn’t been bought or replaced by those out to get you?
5. You know, you should probably avoid going to any sites really. I mean that site about knitting probably seems perfectly safe and you’ve been going there for years but what if they hack it? Then you’ll have to deal with knitting viruses that will damage your computer.
6. What you should do is just unplug your computer from the internet entirely. It doesn’t matter if you are surfing the internet or not you are still sending and receiving data from the whole wide web. They could be using that connection to get into your computer as we speak. As you sleep tonight They will be stealing all your valuable solitaire win/loss ratio information.
7. Alright to be perfectly safe what you should do is just unplug your computer, smash everything with a big hammer and throw it all in a furnace. There are many ways to get into your computer besides the internet such USB, Bluetooth, LAN, WLAN, serial port, parallel port, and even wires made of fire. For the most part these other means are more dangerous because they require the collective to be close to your home or even inside of it. No, the only logical step to protect all your information is to destroy it.
8. The international Collective of people who don’t like you is already on its way.